this week. arg. confusing. every day. im sitting reading through Hooke's Micrographia. i emailed CHEJ back about the internship and they haven't gotten back to me, and that makes me nervous. i have two lab reports due wednesday for my core biology class. i have a GIS mid term next week. anthro...is anthro.

all in all, school is school. im bored. somewhat lonely. the space is nice. the winter cold isnt. i keep telling myself to go to the gym and i make up excuses in my head. snap out of it. my fish is great, i need to clean its tank. i was actually happy with my writing piece this week, to be honest. a first. im excited for jujitsu and boxing this weekend. maybe even squash. hell, whatever gets my mind away. seriously, bard, what is it. too much to handle at times. i cant focus on my work, im having just the hardest time being motivated. its different than the past. i want to go do something. meaningful. i joined the environmental collective. ill do boxing and jujitsu. im on the geography search committee. im somewhat involved. i might start volunteering at the root cellar, who knows. like i said, the writing is alright. nice at times. this week has felt so heavy, so unsure, so pale in comparison. ive been listening to the oddest mix of music: demos of strawberry fields by the beatles, an acoustic version of rape me by nirvana, shine by alexi murdoch, the pixies.

im ready for spring break, but in reality i know im just ready to be doing my own thing and getting on with life. my classes are fine. but theyre not really what i want to do. im working hard to start putting together a tutorial next semester. i know that a prof is teaching a class called plague on history of public health epidemic interventions. biostatistics. cultural theory. maybe environmental chemistry, or subcellular biology. who knows. i just want to start working. im working on my senior project idea, since the paper i write for anthro this sem...

this is a rant. an unnecessary rant. i need to get out more. edit: i need to sleep more. less caffine. not going to happen