on travel and time--and the invisible

The Tree Where Man Was Born
by Peter Matthiessen

Dispatches
by Michael Herr

In Patagonia
by Bruce Chatwin

The Travels of Ibn Battutah
by Ibn Battutah

Down the Nile: Alone in a Fisherman's Skiff
by Rosemary Mahoney

The Shadow of the Sun
by Ryszard Kapuscinski

Regarding the Pain of Others
by Susan Sontag

A Golden Age: A Novel
by Tahmima Anam

The Road to Wigan Pier
by George Orwell

Invisible Cities
by Italo Calvino

The Plague
by Albert Camus

Folding Paper Cranes: An Atomic Memoir
by Leonard Bird

over / done

driving away from bard never felt so good.

im sunburnt, read The Gift again, ran, do pushups.

the semester is over and all the things along with it.

i want to be my own person again. put the pieces back together.

spend time knowing myself, being myself. being ok with fragments.

ill miss friends but know that starting next year afresh will be what is needed.

its about doing the best at what i do. what that is i dont know yet.

but its time to see people again, time to relax, time to pretend, time to be.

and i deserve it.

lets re-do

i am almost finished my paper.

i am going to get a haircut.

go for a run outside.

go to the waterfall.

go out to dinner with friends one last time.

pack.

go to the tent party.

wake up and pack.

and maybe even just leave saturday.

i have to get out of here. this shitty awful semester just keeps going. not at all how i wanted it to turn out. things happened. it all pulled through. now is what it is. summer looms so close in the yet distance. i can't wait to just get away and be on my own again. im tired of sarcasm, cynicism, pessimism, and jadedness. the weathers great, i can't wait to be back with westtown kids for a week and just randomly go to a creek. or just drive somewhere. i miss the random play of it all. i miss things and people feeling real, not covered up by layers of jokes and weird acts. it'll feel good to just be me again in the process.

i don't know what the fucked happened this semester. but im glad its coming to an end.

putting the fragments and pieces back together

Toni Morrison's Beloved.

"me and you, we got more yesterday than anybody. we need some kind of tomorrow"

"she gather me, man. the pieces i am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order."

powerful quotes.

fragments of memory

life in Jau National Park

artisans outside of Manaus

Manaus Opera House

traditional pottery in Belem

fruit vendor in Belem

Eldorado do Carajs massacre memorial

made of local wood

river travel to mangrove forest

from Curuca

Praca da Republica

when things like this happen, it makes and forces you to realize how precious life is, in an everyday sense. live for those you love, appreciate the moment, and protect what is important to you. ive forgotten that since being back here. i wont any more.

PA-150

Dan Becker

May 5 2009

PA-150 takes you from the start of the Tocantins River to the south of Pará, the second largest state in Brazil. The section of the Transamazon highway goes for thousands of kilometers, at least an eight-hour drive-and that's only to the expanding urban city of Marabá. Along the way south, you’ll note the gradual disappearance of forest, of familiar açaí palms, of the typical river traders so common in northern Amazonia. Squatter settlements, cattle ranches, and logging regimes replace these typical images, the contrast becoming more unavoidable as you travel red dirt roads. Each small town and roadside community along the route smells of rubber, fire, and churrascos, the Brazilian standard for a meal of various meats grilled on skewers. Pass through enough towns and eventually you'll reach a fork at PA-257. You’re almost at the very south of Pará state.

Right before you start on PA-257 you'll drive by a roadside memorial, a scar from Brazil's developmental project of the 1960's and 1970's-"land without people for people without land", that was the governmental slogan of the time. Fueled by paranoia over Western economic dominance, President Medici's regime initiated the construction of massive industrial projects throughout the southern Amazonia, converting lush forests into productive mechanical landscapes. The land had no people, after all. An influx of hydroelectric dams, railroads and highways, and immigrant labor settlements from the South of Brazil arrived to feed the demands of the development project that rhetoric stated to propel the country into greatness. Construction and their floods sacrificed agricultural fields and numerous small towns. Some populations were given warnings to evacuate, others were not, their legacies now faintly surviving in the dozens of social movements for justice in the region. The largest of these dams, Tucurui along the Tocantins, powers the Great Carajás Project, just west of PA-257 and the city of Paruapebas.

Carajás is the largest mining site in the world. In 1967, a United States Steel Company helicopter flew over the region and, low on fuel, made a forced landing-to their luck they found a mineral reserve containing concentrations of iron up to 66 percent. Not willing to allow a Western company control over such wealth and power, the Brazilian government pushed the majority of shares into the hands of the Companhia Vale do Rio Doce, now known as VALE throughout Pará and its neighboring states. In 1985, VALE obtained complete control of the mineral deposit and began extraction of the 1.5 billion tons of iron ore within.

And like any other hole in the earth it sucks in and consumes. In this case, consumes labor and bodies. The Project pays low wages to the landless poor , the same workers who it's creation and production displaces and limits. It is not as if there have been no reactions though. The name of the roadside memorial you passed on the way to the collosus from PA-150 is known as Eldorado dos Carajás. On April 17th, 1996, the state military police murdered nineteen landless agricultural workers who engaged in the continual and daily struggle to obtain a better livelihood for their families. They were members of the Movimento dos Trabalhadores Sem Terra, the Landless Workers Movement, the largest social movement in Latin America, to which its members fight for their right to productive land. Visitors stop and lay flowers at the base of the memorial, itself crafted out of nineteen wooden logs from fauna typical of the region.

According to Brazilian law, land must meet a "productive and adequate use" standard. The MST identifies unproductive rural land that is not meeting the ordained "social function" and occupies the tract. Through struggle, eventually some settlements become recognized for their land use, and the residents will begin to establish schools, plantations and agricultural fields, community centers, medical shops. Eventually, small towns are born. The process repeats itself until some justice comes into existence, but at the price of great suffering and loss-the South of the state is one of the most bloody and violent in the nation.

Upon our roadside stop I didn't have flowers for the memorial, only my eyes. To say I can honestly comprehend the struggle and the suffering would be offense and insult. Even for a Paranaense in the state's capital of Belém, the concept that lies at the memorial and the nineteen names it lists is foreign-for an outsider like myself, even more so. All the same, I wish I had had flowers, something at all besides silence to acknowledge what eyes recognize.

write

INFP

While they are usually quietly adaptable, INFP's may dig in their heels when something threatens their important personal values and defend their values eloquently in writing. These warm, serious, insightful people love new ideas, especially if they can see the benefits for people. As such, they can do a great job on the company newsletter. INFP's are perfectionists in ideals. Their career path often takes them to the non-profit world because they work for more than tangible rewards.

Below are some of the advantages and challenges INFP's face when writing:

Strengths	Challenges
Often find wonderful, unique phrasing to paint a picture with words. Excellent writers on themes with human interest. Good at building bridges between different work groups. Rewrites are no problem— often love to revise.	Writing tends to be lengthy and they fall in love with the words. May assume readers know more than they do or agree with theses. Because they empathize so strongly with others, may soften the message too much. They can always find a more clever phrasing, so may have trouble letting go.

apparently i should be a writer and work for non-profits connecting different people, consulting, and helping bridge differences. thanks psychology for summing me up in a ten minute quiz.

no but really. it all makes a lot of sense. 1% of the population. makes sense i always feel pretty alone and selfless. i am.

this is facinating to read about

Characteristics of INFPs

Myers-Briggs description

According to Myers-Briggs,^[11] INFPs focus much of their energy on an inner world dominated by intense feeling and deeply held ethics. They seek an external life that is in keeping with these values. Loyal to the people and causes important to them, INFPs can quickly spot opportunities to implement their ideals. They are curious to understand those around them, and so are accepting and flexible except when their values are threatened.

Keirsey description

According to Keirsey,^[12] the tranquil and reserved exterior of the INFP masks a passionate inner life. Healers care deeply about causes that interest them and they often pursue those causes with selfless devotion.

Occurring in only about one percent of the population, Healers can easily feel isolated. They value harmony and integrity in human relationships, seeking unity of mind, body, and spirit but often find these values to be out of step with the more concrete pursuits of the rest of the world. Feeling "different," they may wonder whether something is wrong with them. But those differences—an ethical nature, a devotion to ideals, a commitment to harmonious interaction—are in fact some of their greatest strengths.

Other descriptions

The polite, reserved exterior of INFPs can at first make them difficult to get to know. They enjoy conversation, however, taking particular delight in the unusual. When INFPs are in a sociable mood, their humor and charm shine through. Disposed to like people and to avoid conflict, INFPs tend to make pleasant company.

Devoted to those in their inner circle, INFPs guard the emotional well-being of others, consoling those in distress. Guided by their desire for harmony, INFPs prefer to be flexible unless their ethics are violated. Then, they become passionate advocates for their beliefs. They are often able to sway the opinions of others through tact, diplomacy, and an ability to see varying sides of an issue.

INFPs develop these insights through reflection, and they require substantial time alone to ponder and process new information. While they can be quite patient with complex material, they are generally bored by routine. Though not always organized, INFPs are meticulous about things they value. Perfectionists, they may have trouble completing a task because it cannot meet their high standards. They may even go back to a completed project after the deadline so they can improve it.

INFPs are creative types and often have a gift for language. As introverts, they may prefer to express themselves through writing. Their dominant Feeling drives their desire to communicate, while their auxiliary intuition supplies the imagination. Having a talent for symbolism, they enjoy metaphors and similes. They continually seek new ideas and adapt well to change. They prefer working in an environment that values these gifts and allows them to make a positive difference in the world, according to their personal beliefs.^[13]

Cognitive functions

Drawing upon Jungian theory, Isabel Myers proposed that for each personality type, the cognitive functions—sensing, intuition, thinking, and feeling—form a hierarchy. This hierarchy represents the person's "default" pattern of behavior.

The Dominant function is the personality type's preferred role, the one they feel most comfortable with. The secondary Auxiliary function serves to support and expand on the Dominant function. If the Dominant is an information gathering function (sensing or intuition), the Auxiliary is a decision making function (thinking or feeling), and vice versa. The Tertiary function is less developed than the Dominant and Auxiliary, but it matures over time, rounding out the person's abilities. The Inferior function is the personality type's Achilles' heel. This is the function they are least comfortable with. Like the Tertiary, the Inferior function strengthens with maturity.^[14]

• Dominant Introverted Feeling (Fi): INFPs live primarily in a rich inner world of emotion.
• Auxiliary Extraverted Intuition (Ne): INFPs engage the outside world primarily with intuition, adept at seeing the big picture, sensing patterns and the flow of existence from the past toward the future.
• Tertiary Introverted Sensing (Si): This function gives INFPs a natural inclination toward absent-mindedness and makes them more easily distracted.
• Inferior Extraverted Thinking (Te): This function helps INFPs focus on external details but, being the inferior function, requires the expenditure of greater energy and is not as reliable.^[15]

Later personality researchers (notably Linda V. Berens)^[16] added four additional functions to the descending hierarchy, the so-called "shadow" functions to which the individual is not naturally inclined but which can emerge when the person is under stress. For INFP these shadow functions are (in order):

• Extraverted Feeling (Fe)
• Introverted Intuition (Ni)
• Extraverted Sensing (Se)
• Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Correlation with Enneatype

According to Baron and Wagele, the most common Enneatypes for INFPs are Romantics and Peace Seekers.^[17]

INFP: "Questor". These people are idealistic, self-sacrificing, and somewhat cool or reserved. They are very family and home oriented, but don't relax well. High capacity for caring. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 1% of the total population.

NFPs feel internal turmoil when they find themselves in situations in which there is conflict between their inner code of ethics and their relationships with others. They feel caught between pleasing others and maintaining their own integrity. Their natural tendency to identify with others, compounded with their self-sacrificial dispositions, tends to leave them confused as to who they really are. Their quiet personalities further feeds their feelings of depersonalization. The INFP's quest for self-identity then seems even more alluring — but increasingly impossible to attain

As with all NFs, the INFP will feel lost and perplexed at stressful times. As stress builds, INFPs become disconnected from their own personality and perceived place in life. They will lose sight of who they are in relation to time and place. They may not make basic observations, while instead they will focus on the more abstract and symbolic meanings of a particular interaction. This can sometimes baffle those who expect more direct communication and a fairly concrete relationship.

information-graphics...designer
college professor
researcher
legal mediator
social worker
holistic health...practitioner
occupational therapist
diversity manager
human resource...development specialist
employment development...specialist
minister/priest/rabbi
missionary
psychologist
writer: poet/novelist
journalist
editor/art director
organizational development...specialist

creepy facebook, creepy

i took a personality quiz on facebook. 7 questions. this is what i got.

Your Result: You are a type 1C person

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.

did facebook just sum me up in a few questions, getting more of me than some of my friends?