At the Center of the Circle

It's nights like these when laying around in a hammock outside on the patio listening to the sounds of the band at the bar down the street that everything seems quite alright, even if there are problems. I'm realizing that coming to Brazil I had a lot of expectations, not necessarily about the program in particular, but that it would be this completely life-changing experience-every moment of it. Now that I am actually here in reality, it seems much more realistic that, of course, things are going to go astray, go wrong, because that is how things are. And that it is up to the individual to pick out the small things that do go right, the small things that are good, and concentrate on them. I have faith that I will walk away from this time in Brazil with good thoughts and knowing that I have become a different person, at least, perhaps the person I would rather be at times. Those moments where I feel at peace and can honestly tell myself that things feel good are the ones I will remember.

If this excursion is anything like the past two we have had, it will prove me right. And seeing as this one looks even better than the last two, that is quite good. This program has already given me so much to think about in only 3 weeks that in that regard it is already worth it. I keep thinking back to some of the critiques I received at my moderation board, how I was swimming in too much high theory, paying too much attention to method, and not enough to just, well, what happens with people. The way most anthropology articles/books for that matter seem to be written nowadays is a structure like this:

• general broad theory used to frame the author's point of view/frame of the subject
• talk about methods/motivations
• use small snippets of quotes from informants, but in a way that supports the theory/objective of the author (like in any science for that matter)
  
• concludes with how the experience down at the ground level challenges/reshapes the above theory

Being in Brazil, actually talking to people down here who do struggle to make ends meet, who are getting their lives together to keep communities intact, gives me a lot to think about. Those few excursions, which I see as the best parts of this whole experience for this/that exact reason, have already, I think, helped to break me out of the whole above mindset. Even talking with a few people from my group about some of these things has helped too. Theory is fine for framing the world, but you can't rely on it as a model for reality all of the time, obviously. When the going gets tough, people learn to sink or swim. When you lack money and resources, and you wish to keep your family together, no amount of environmental conservationist jargon on the inherent value of the rain forest, on the deep intimacy with nature, on how only looking at human issues is anthropomorphic, etc, is going to stop that said family from, lets say, burning down the rainforest to survive. It isn't totally deterministic, but Darwin had a point when he said that life is a fight. Because if you don't fight, you don't get to live, and you can't protect the people you love. And when it comes down to it all, that is what the whole thing is about, isn't it? Community based development, environmental justice, public health? It's all about community and the people who mean something to you. Of course, there's an interesting twist in there for those communities/cultures/groups of people in the world with various cosmologies and world views that would permit them to view those same trees as indeed "the people that matter to them". Of course, maybe us here are not that different either. Because I know that my dog meant just as much to me as any other important person in my life.

That all said and done, I feel that is the most important thing right now. And even if this semester in Brazil has it's ups and downs, like anything else in life, I can pull away that I am learning that. I am learning what does indeed matter most. If I had to go back to the US right now, for some strange reason, I would be ok with that, because I feel like experiencing what I have already, and coming to those conclusions, has been worth the trip in and of itself. I've always been pretty good at learning to make the most of things that are in front of me. I feel like now, it is my job to go back home, and apply what I now feel, not know, to life at home, at Bard, and at those communities around me. I left the US feeling something along the lines of something anthropologist Nancy Scheper Hughes said in an interview, when the interviewer commented that it must take an enormous amount of courage to go off into a different land and interact with its people, etc. She replied, me roughly paraphrasing, "Well, I think what you call bravery is in fact a sort of struggle to belong. A lot of us instead have always somewhat felt that they don't quite belong in their own culture, or that it is missing something, so what you call courage I would call a search to find something that fits with you". A month ago, Brazil was my "escape" from life back in the US, from home, from academic life at Bard, from the general everyday grind. Brazil was the place, from what I had read and heard, that I could imagine myself belonging in, coming back to to work later in life, etc. I imagined it to be the place where I would find something that had been missing. Now I find myself realizing that what I've found in Brazil isn't any calling to Brazil or Amazonia in particular, but instead just the simple realization that in the end it is the people you care about that matter the most, and you don't need to work in Brazil, or Belem, or Amazonia, in order to help protect the communities you know are important to yourself, but maybe more importantly, to the people around you. And to me, that holds more meaning than any academic published paper or high level theorized conclusion. And that feels good to be at that place.

I realize maybe that half of that might not have made sense. Thats ok. I've been flipping through the Tao Te Ching once in a while at night while I listen to the music coming from outside, so I'd like to just share a quick little passage (everything in the book is short and cool), which maybe sums up my thoughts much easier than I have done:

"Do you want to improve the world?
I don't think it can be done.
The world is sacred.
It can't be improved.
If you tamper with it, you'll ruin it.
If you treat it like an object, you'll lose it.
There is a time for being ahead,
a time for being behind;
a time for being in motion,
a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous,
a time for being exhausted;
a time for being safe,
a time for being in danger.
The Master sees things as they are,
without trying to control them.
She lets them go their own way,
and resides at the center of the circle."

I think the whole journey in Manaus and Santarem, between the rural home stay experience where we will all be isolated and the 10 day boat trip, will very much force me, like this excerpt, to stop trying to control anything, and just let things take their course. As we flow along the river, maybe I'll also just learn to let things flow. I suppose rivers are the best place to do just that. Saude e alegria, here I come.

Yesterday I managed to barter in Ver-o-Peso market. I successfully lowered the price of a pair of shorts from 15 reais to 13 reais. Does it make me a typical Bard kid to see a connection between the anarchistic Joker persona in Dark Knight and the Tau Te Ching telling me to stop trying to control everything? Tonight, it's literally into o coração do Amazonia, the heart of the Amazon, so says my host family.

Ready to Mix it Up

Tomorrow we leave for Manaus to begin our first long excursion into the interior, including our rural homestay with a ribeirinho family along the river. This is basically the part of the trip that I have been looking forward to the whole time/the reason I decided to do it in the first place. 10 days boating along the river, stops in Manaus, lectures about the impact of large development project, living with a family with a social structure completely different from my own, and getting to interact with the Health and Happiness Project...I am so excited.

Until then. For the last 3 days we were in Sao Francisco do Para studying the basics of tropical ecosystems and talking with a local agriculture/community empowerment project to fight the vicious cycle of slash and burn agriculture. We also did a Mini-ISP on biological research methods, which of course is far from my comfort area. In fact, I'm kind of waiting until we start dealing with more social science oriented information...

So while tropical ecology was interesting, it was the chance to actually just interact with the group in a normal setting again that I looked forward to. In Belem I live somewhat isolated from a bunch of the other students in the group, so it was a relief to be in close quarters again. I even got to practice some capoeira, which was great. The chance to talk to the agriculturalists was also really fascinating. Slash and burn agriculture on its own isn't a bad thing; it's been happening in Amazonia for a long time now. What slash and burn does is simple: you cut down a patch of forest, where typically the soil is somewhat poor in nutrients, and burn everything. This releases all of the nutrients of the biomass into the soil, enriching it my about 20%. You can then directly plan your crops and have a successful harvest. In previous times, agriculturalists in the Amazon practiced slash and burn in a manner that worked with the ecosystem, seeing as you need to wait about 7-10 years for the soil to restore itself before you can initiate another slash and burn cycle. The harm comes when, due to land pressure, poverty, and basic hunger/desire to feed and provide for a family, farmers do not have the luxury to wait 10 years, and instead slash and burn the forest in about 2 years. That said, the project we visited is working with the region of Igarape Acu in Sao Francisco do Para to help farmers transition into farming methods that avoid fire. To do this, they use certain legumes and trees that add nitrogen into the soil naturally, and aid farmers with agroforestry and other technical skills to start the process up. Big crops: manioc, rice, passion fruit, and beans. Sometimes corn. In the end though, it allows these farmers to restore the nutrients that would normally build up in 10 years in much shorter time frame, between 2-5 depending on what kinds of crops are used. Interestingly enough, the project is funded by the German Government as a way for Germany to give carbon credit...so Germany supports sustainable agricultural practices in the South, and thus is allowed to pollute more, or something. I don't quite understand it, but it sounds a little fishy. The German money goes to the Brazilian government which then gives the money to the project, usually in the form of crops and machinery. Also, most of the seeds given by IBAMA (the Brazilian Environmental Monitoring Organization) are GMO seeds, so, that complicates things.

As a whole, a very interesting trip. And I got to see an igarape, so, very cool. Hugh Raffles would be proud. People here also seem to think that me studying anthropology is cool...so different from the reaction in the US. In Brazil, anthropology is actually relevant! Crazy huh? There are a whole cohort of anthropologists who work for government ministries, such as FUNAI (the indigenous rights branch of the government) and the environmental branch. There isn't any applied/academic distinction here either, so you have anthropologists going directly into aiding development projects, working for the government, or even just writing in newspapers. "Fun" fact: for quiolombolas communities (descendants of runaway slaves from the sugarcane plantation era) to have government aid and recognition of their land ownership, they need an anthropologist to come in and write up a report to the government to say that they are "legit" quiolombolas. Kinda messed up. Anyway.

We also had our first quiz. Can you name the three main river systems of the Amazon? I can: clear water, black water, and white water, with nutrient content in that order. Clear water has the least, black has some, and white is very nutrient rich, what you think of when people say "The Amazon". The clear water of the Rio Solimoes and the black water of the Rio Negro come together (quite near Manaus actually) to form the Rio Amazonas at the famous and beautiful (I will take so many pictures...) "Meeting of the Waters". Also, we had our first Portuguese test as well, and I think I did well, especially on my oral part. It's funny how you actually do well in language once you...you know, have a motivation to speak it. Plus, Portuguese is beautiful. Especially the Paranese accent (which apparently in the rest of Brazil is known as a hick accent...OH WELL), lots of "shhh" noises.

This next series of trips should be really great. With the exception of my host family experience, I actually find being here in Belem my least favorite part of the semester. My classes are fine and the lectures are interesting. But I feel like while we are all settled here in the city everyone seems to click off a bit, which is a little annoying. Or maybe I'm just envious because the closest people I live near requires a 25-30 minute walk from Tv.Lomas to Pedro Miranda to some other street I forget. I love being on the move here, staying in hotels, being dirty and gross and sweaty. It means we are all in the same boat (what a terrible pun) and the cliches and such seem to break down, at least somewhat. And anyone who knows me knows that I hate cliching off. Luckily, there will be lots to do. And honestly, my best experiences with people here so far have been sitting around at a hotel trying to talk to Brazilian kids, or trucking through the muddy mangroves, or gorging ourselves on fish that a fisherman keeps force feeding us, or walking into Sao Fransco from the one hotel in town to buy cookies, or doing capoeira with a few peeps, or just chatting with a friend while we fail at preparing a presentation. Being in Belem in the SIT office, following some routine everyday, gets very boring, to me. I chose SIT because I wanted exactly that: liberation from the depressing daily grind of class, break, lunch, class, etc, at Bard. On the excursions, I feel I have a great time. In Belem, being settled, I feel my energy drop somewhat.

On a better note, I am really enjoying my ISP topic a lot. I found a book today in SIT's library all about health related to development in the Northeast of Brazil, in a few cities not toooooo far from Belem (maybe a 1 hr plane ride). The whole concept of ecological public health, and diseases from inappropriate technology use, seems to be somewhat falling into place. I can't wait to meet with the Health and Happiness people during this excursion. They are really amazing. Besides just health projects, they have a whole host of actives devoted to improving communication in the region and community empowerment, which ranges from the certification of environmental agents to youth newspapers/radio shows/video projects. As we heard in a lecture on Amazonian populations yesterday, it is the cabolco/ribeirinhos populations that not only lack access to communication and health infrastructure, but lack any sort of governmental monetary support as is given to indigenous groups/quilombolas. They instead are somewhat invisible in Brazil, viewed as more of the failure to modernize, or some hybrid of the development era and a more "primitive" age, than groups that deserve the same basic rights as the other populations of the interior. Hopefully the rural homestay with a family/community will be one of those experiences that you never forget. Of course, I feel awkward about it as well, but I suppose it is an experience for them too, hosting a white American student.

Well, I (probably) wont be able to update this again until I get back to Belem on October 7th. I will have a lot to say...for sure. That which doesn't kill me, will certainly make me stronger, I keep telling myself. I have faith things will improve from the stasis of being in Belem.

Boa noite

Good Things

Before anything else: this is outside of my window yesterday when the bar down the street was playing this great ukulele music. Usually all the music at night pisses me off, but tonight, very relaxing.



Today's been good. I woke up and grabbed the bus to meet some friends at the Praca da Republica again. As usual, because I can't really speak much portuguese/understand the bus system here, I keep taking the wrong buses despite my family's best efforts. Needless to say I ended up on the other side of down, several reais down the drain. I went back to the Bosque area, and decided to just walk to Susan and Will's general area, a "quick" 25 minutes in the sun. I rocked the bandana and glasses, and rolled up my sleeves, basically trying to look as intimidating as possible as to avoid any potential muggings. Like I said, we all stick out. Hardcore. We got the right bus and headed out to the market. I love the market. I love the whole atmosphere. I ended up buying a cool, very spartan necklace with this frog symbol that I see everywhere. Apparently, says Karina, it's a good luck symbol from an Amazonian legend. Unfortunately, it is only good luck if you receive it as a gift. Oh well.

Afterwards I went over and had lunch with Susan's family and then, since Will lives literally right next door, stopped by there and met his family as well. People in Brazil are so nice, all of the time. I can't get over it. The contrast seems so high from meeting new people in the US. Maybe it's just been Bard being awkward, but it is so refreshing here. People just...open up so quickly. It seems like a lot of Americans, myself included very much so, are slow to warm people. I know personally it takes me some time to feel comfortable enough to just be myself around someone, unless something just clicks right away, which is on the not-as-frequent part of the spectrum. But all the families I keep meeting, it's like 0 to 60. Very cool. Lunch was great, as usual. Nothing beats maracuja juice, which I think is passion fruit, but I'm not sure.

I walked back home, and headed off to Church round 3 with my family, and it was definitely not as intense as last time, which is a good thing, I think. I enjoyed myself, and afterwards we went out to grab hamburgers. In Belem at least, a cheeseburger is pronounced sheeshie-burgar, which I found hilarious. Just as hilarious as they find it when I have difficulty with Portuguese words. So we had a long exchange of me messing up in Portuguese and them messing up in English. Fun. Apparently though, whenever I meet people they tell me I speak Portuguese well. Not that I can say a lot, but I think that I speak it well, as in I don't have a terrible accent. Brazilians tend to be pretty blunt from my experience thus far, so i take it as a compliment, I don't think they are messing with me. But then again, maybe they are. Oh well! That's half the fun. Speaking of Portuguese, I fear for my test on Thursday. But, at least Sao Fransico should be interesting. Packing kind of sucks, but besides that its exciting. I still have a little more biology to read before our trip though. The cool thing about SIT is that you read articles and such, but it's not like a typical semester at a university where you sit around and discuss the article etc. You read it because you need to, in order to understand the individuals we meet with, the families we stay with, and the places we visit. So, if for the next three days I will be listening to lectures in the forest ecosystems, it necessitates that I read Introduction to Tropical Rainforests as well as the articles on biogeochemical cycles and nutrient cycles. I can skip it if I so desire, and it probably will not affect my final grade, but, which I think is better, I will be worse off. It's all about what you put into it. I like learning this way. I read two articles today for a talk at the end of the week on caboclo society. It also will help seeing as we will be in a rural homestay with caboclo families for 4 days. Thus, it makes plenty of sense for me to not only do the reading, but really get it as well. After a lecture on mangroves in a mangrove forest...I actually understand the general concepts of the particular ecosystem. Because I was there, and had to. Very cool

Well, I need to finish packing (or trying to figure out what clothes I can cut out, to be exact) and finish some reading. Maybe. So, boa noite. They're be plenty to update on come Wednesday/Thursday (quarta-feira e quinta-feira, respectively), including my Portuguese test....blah oral exams.

Perhaps He Has a Point...

Today, as Susan, Will, Gina, Susan's host bro, and I were walking through a market from a friend's host grandmother's birthday party, we stopped to buy an avocado. The seller stopped and began to ask the brother , from what I could make out in Portuguese, what we were doing here. Not why Susan was buying an avocado, but what a bunch of American kids are doing in Belem.

It's a good question. Today I read the article "To Hell With Good Intentions", I forget who the author is, and it's been very stuck in my head since. I'm actually surprised I haven't had to read it at Bard, especially with so many anthropology classes, you'd think it might have come up at some point. But it begs me to ask myself the question, what the hell am I doing here? The author outlines a number of great points, written in the 60's on American volunteers going down to Mexico to help the poor. Besides the excellent comments on how it is imposing another lifestyle and obtrusive, the one that got me was, me paraphrasing, "in the US would you go to a ghetto and tell the community that you were there to help the poor people there?" No. They would tell you to get lost, to fuck off, to use the phrase that would most likely be used. Isn't there something inherently pretentious about the whole idea? Leading me to another of his points: most people, I guess including myself, justify going to do things, such as a semester abroad or volunteering trips, on the grounds that it is also a chance to have a transformative experience. But while doing so, the very presence and idea of this volunteer "saving" the poor helpless people can be harmful in a variety of ways. So, is it worth it?

Lastly...so, why go somewhere else to help people, when there is so much to do right back at home? I don't need to do Peace Corps or do work in Brazil or do volunteer work for a few years after I graduate to help people who have not been born with the same nice life circumstances as I. I could drive 20 minutes from home to do that. I could actually do something at Bard besides study and hang with friends. Or maybe it's the whole idea that I have to do something that is blatantly "helping" people. Cause, in a way, isn't mostly whatever you do helping people, in some way? Or isn't it just enough to support a family and be happy, in the end?

Ah. And of course there is the thing that has been bugging most of us since coming to Belem: we stick out. Obviously. We are, for the most part, a bunch of middle/upper class white kids from America. And everybody sees it. It definitely fits a "matter out of place" model. Luckily, I'm not one of the girls, so I don't really have to deal with constant cat-calls and car honks and other comments. But, it still is strange when everyone either stares at you and, like the man today, wonders what I am doing here, or they just don't acknowledge you at all. And despite how much time, if I were, to do "fieldwork" or "participant observation", I doubt I would really every know the place, people, and culture to at all the same degree as the people here, just as the same would be true if they came to Westtown, PA. Or maybe it's that we never know what's going on in general...

I apologize for the melancholy. Actually, it's not pessimistic at all, it just happens to be the reality of the situation here. While I'm really looking forward to our rural homestays near Manaus, reflecting on this article made me basically confront a lot of mixed feelings I've had about anthropology and doing things outside the US in general. There's so much talk about dependency and cultural imperialism, and do we really justify those claims by saying, "oh, well, I'm passionate about it, my intentions are pure". Well, I guess to hell with it, because it can cause damage regardless. Oh, and nobody's intentions are ever pure. Nothing is ever pure.

On the optimism side, though, it gives me more perspective and drive to think about more I can do back at home, if anything at all. Or ways I can organize my time and energy to things close by. Because in the end, that's all being sustainable is mostly about, yes? Keeping things close and repeatable? And oh, doesn't it take away from empowerment if everything is handed to you by some First-World led NGO? I guess I'll find out over the course of the semester, something to keep an eye out for.

On a more positive note, I'm not just volunteering and being imposing. I am studying, and learning, and learning skills and tools that I can use for the rest of my life. And the way the program is set up, the whole gift relationship is built into the ISP; they want us from the start to do research that can be utilized by people here in Amazonia to better...something. Also, Belem is cool. Last night we went out, meeting up at the Basilica, and walked to a bar/club called the Liverpool. Three cover bands were there singing Audioslave, Pearl Jam, and Foo Fighters. Very cool, might I add. I had a good time. Today a bunch of us met up at Jackie's family's house, as I said earlier, for her grandmother's 77th birthday. Brazilian families here are HUGE. Mind you, these aren't big houses, at all. It was packed. And a very cool experience...maybe we aren't so obtrusive after all, I don't know, its all very confusing and blah. We spent a long time chilling on the porch drinking Guarana soda and Skol beer talking to some of the brothers and cousins while listening to MTV's rap picks blast from the TV in the background. Hippi-Hoppi, its called here. It felt so strange, like being between Brazil and the US. Tonight: who knows. Family is out the church. Phone is charging. Might go meet up with people back at the house or something, who knows? Tomorrow I'm hoping to cruise around the Praca da Republica again and barter for some cool things.

Crap Everything Is Wet Here!

So, we all know it rains a lot in the Amazon. No you don't! We got out of class today at 6, and the sky was literally BLACK. Like...night time black. And then the heavens basically opened up. So...the walk home, not so much fun. In fact, more like...Dan's bag and various parts of it's insides are quite soaked around the edges. As in, notebooks/books are still usable (hopefully), but need to dry A LOT. I feel pretty awful, seeing as one of the books belongs to SIT's library. Oh, and also the fact that this morning, not thinking about the potential chance of a cosmic rainstorm, left my window cracked open.

Big mistake.

I walked into my room and my bed was pretty wet, along with parts of the floor. Luckily, thank god, my computer and the family's computer are fine, the only thing is now to just hope tomorrow the sun works its magic. But I must have said desculpe (I'm sorry) a million times to my host family. I feel terrible about it. Luckily today was laundry day...

Although, I have to say, being stuck in the rain trying to wait underneath things for cover was a pretty good exercise in patience. All for now, I need to read and maybe just watch some TV with Judah or something.

Oh, and went to the Bosque today. Saw a manatee. Very excited. I'm going to go back for pictures...

Getting Lost is Getting Fun

People here love Obama. I went home for lunch today, and Diego’s mother’s husband was there to eat with us, and I think I was actually able to more or less understand what he was talking to me about. He was asking me where I’m from, how I like Belém, what Philadelphia is known for, and so on. Then, suddenly, he just whips out this Obama pin and smiles. I thought it was hilarious. Plus, Brazilian TV likes to take pot-shots at McCain, it seems. Of course, it isn’t at all fun trying to explain how elections work in the United States to my Brazilian family either…

Last night we were actually able to 1) buy cell phones and 2) GO OUT. I’ve been looking forward to actually getting around Belém at night since the moment we got here. I was going to meet up with a friend at the Bosque and then hitch a bus (the friend speaks Portuguese, eu preciso de entender mais bom…), and we worked it out so that if we had trouble finding each other, we’d at least have cell phones. No dice, they didn’t work. After wandering around the meeting spot for 15 minutes, I decided to just take a leap of faith, and went onto the first bus that stopped nearby. I asked the driver if it was going to Nazaré Ave, seeing as people were going to get a ride from the Basilica, but he rambled something off in Portuguese so of course I had no idea what was going on. I figured it meant “Not now, on the way back”, so I had nothing else to lose and went for the ride. Lucky for me, it went up to the Ver-o-Peso Market, which is right along the entry to Cidade Velha, the old part of town, where the jazz club we were going to is located. So, using my grand Portuguese skills, I randomly asked people who didn’t look too sketchy where the Casa da Onze Janelas was, or, “Onde fica…” Needless to say I felt pretty lost, but eventually found the club. After that is was all good, about 10 of us or so showed up, and ended up having a few choppes and listening to some awesome music, and then went out to walk around near the river. Muita bonita.

In the end, my friends and I struggled with why our cell phones weren’t working for a copious amount of time. Eventually though, we embarrassingly discovered that we had been reading our numbers wrong on the package and mistook the 3 for an 8…wonderful. So, now, everything is in working order.

Today we all met with Gustavo to talk about initial ideas for our ISPs, and I actually feel pretty good about mine. Basically, a quick glance at my notebook from our meeting:

• Look into the Health and Happiness Project some more
• Works with about 140 communities along the river with linked health, forest economy, and community empowerment issues
• Communication infrastructure programs to improve access and delivery of healthcare
• Hospital boat (!sweet)
• Look into the FEA, small NGO dealing with modes of sustainable/appropriate technologies as a mode of community empowerment
• Do some research on health side of large industrial/technological projects and displacement/health/culture loss or gain
• Turuci (spelled wrong) Dam
• Large number of mining projects forcing caboclos off land
• Belemonte Dam in process of being developed (will be third largest dam in the world)

I also picked up Health Ecology: Health, culture, and human-environment interaction from our library to browse through over the next few nights, just to get a general overview of the subject. Right now, all we are supposed to be doing for the next 2 weeks is researching and zoning in on our ISP. I first need to understand the based of ecology-human health interaction before I can get into the specifics. But it’s all very interesting, and I also found an article called The Political Ecology of Famine in the Third World in the Liberation Ecologies book. Lots to do, so for tonight I’m just laying in the hammock reading. But its nice. And I’m sure there will be plenty to keep me busy this weekend.

Today is officially week 3 (maybe 4, I can’t quite remember) of my malaria pills. They’re illegal here in Brazil, only given out by the government in extreme outbreaks. The Brazilian doctor we met with basically told me that under his medical advice they are very dangerous and aren’t even that effective. Fantastic. Luckily I haven’t been cursed with any terrifying hallucinations, just one or two very surreal and sporadic dreams.

The funny think about living in another country is that not matter where you are, the sky always looks the same.

A Little Tour of Belem

Not much going on today. Last night I decided to sleep in a hammock instead of the bed, and it worked out pretty nicely, besides the whole me waking up at 3 am thing. But it was comfy, and I look forward to doing it on the boat from Manaus to Belem for 4 days. I couldn't figure out how to open the milk carton at breakfast today and was too embarrassed to ask for help, so I just quietly put it back in the fridge and drank some of the avocado smoothie Lea made the other day (abacate, but in Brazil, at least in the North, the avocados are quite different, very sweet) and snagged an apple for the road. Got to the office early...as usual, but didn't have to wait too long before it opened up and I could escape the heat. Portuguese went well, tonight our licao da casa, homework, was to write up a schedule of what an normal day is like here so far. We also got to try and bunch of Amazonian fruits in class today, and learned the basic words for describing food. Some of the fruits were really good, others....very interesting. It'll be neat to see what we get to eat later on, especially in Manaus.

Today I went to the mall again to try and buy a prepaid cell phone with a friend who has a Brazilian passport, but turns out that you need a Brazilain ID card to buy one, so, no dice today. It turned out to be an ok experience in the end, because we decided to walk back to the SIT office, which is a 2 hour walk, a little less once you factor in the times we got a little lost. Felt good to get some exercise in, although I kind of blew that by giving in to a Guarana craving, this awesome Brazilian soda.

Right now everyone is our group is basically trying to get cell phones and figure out means of transportation so that we can go out an explore the city a little at night, which I would love. It was good walking from the mall today, because it basically gave me a little look at the main route from mall to office, which are mais ou menos the polar ends of the city. Might go to a jazz club tomorrow night, should be fun, especially figuring out the taxis here in Belem...although today in the cell phone store I had to try to convey that I needed a cheap prepaid cell phone, and I think I did fine, so, a little confidence boost in the Portuguese department:

...Eu preciso de dois telefones celulares preparados mais baratos, por favor

Yeah. Time to finish my Portuguese homework, read up on the Health and Happiness Project for ISP a little, maybe watch some more TV with the host family, and rock out in the hammock.

Boa noite

Vamos a ingreja

Yesterday began as really boring, and ended as really fantastic. For most of the day, due to most of us in the program not having Brazilian cell phones, I just kind of waited around trying to get in touch with people via email, not too successful. Did some Sudoku, passed out on a beanbag chair, contemplated setting up the hammock in my room. Then around 4, Diego asked if I wanted to go to church with him and Judah. The only other thing I knew of going on was one of the girls in out group going to a club/dance thing at 8 ish, and seeing as I didn't really know about how I'd get there, I figured might as well go to church. As a bonus, it would be a cool window into everyday Brazilian life here in Belem.

Wow. I can't remember the last time that I can say I felt really moved by a church service. A ingreja, the church, was a very small little building about 15 minutes drive from the apartment. We met up with Judah coming from drum lessons there 30 mins before, and I wasn't sure if I would be poorly dressed in my t-shirt and casual pants. Luckily, the whole church experience I got here was entirely different than anything in the US. No dressed up people. No formal lectures from a priest. No stifling atmosphere. The whole room was exploding with passion and faith. I was able to somewhat read along with a reading or two from the Old Testament in the Portuguese Bible. Both this one lady, I think Sarah was her name, and Diego spoke, did a reading or two, and so on. But the really moving part of the whole thing was hearing the emotions that poured out of everyone while they were praying to Jesus and O Senhor. I've never seen or heard people physically get emotional and cry with their faith in the heavens, and although it's completely foreign to anything in a Quaker Meeting House, I could definitely appreciate it. You don't need to be able to comprehend Portuguese to be able to understand the feelings that the people in this room were experiencing and devoting themselves to. It was a really special experience. I'm going back in a few hours, actually.

It made me think a lot about empowerment and how much community was there. Activists can talk all they want about needing to get people organized, and at places at Bard we can all contemplate the philosophy behind religion and debate things such as Evolution versus Creationism, and while such things most definitely affect policy decisions, in the end, its what brings people together in a very unique way. Case and point: after the service my host brothers and I went to get pizza along with several members of the church. I was trying to talk to one of the guys while eating, he's only a few years older than myself and is studying management at the University, and was having trouble finding the right words in Portuguese for everything (I can basically have a very simple conversation at this point, it's pretty cool). He stopped me, and said, more or less, "You don't need to worry about getting all the words right. You speak, we get the basic idea. This is Portuguese". I thought that was really cool. It keeps striking me how friendly and open people have been so far to a complete stranger here in Brazil. Whether it is a family taking American students without much Portuguese into their homes, or just random people you meet in a Sports Store in the Belem Mall, people seem to throw themselves to help you, converse with you, and learn about you. It's also striking to learn, outside of one's own language, how non-verbal communication really is. I've really liked just plugging away at Portuguese, even though it can be frustrating.

After pizza, which is muito gostozo here, we went out to the old docks right along the Amazon. In the moonlight, very nice. I want to go back with some friends and walk around. I was able to find out from the people I was with a little about the boat trips and such. Talked about American music, learned how to say super awesome: "paid-egua!". All in all, a very good night, and a good day. I came back and was so pooped I just passed out instantly. One of the members of the church, who teaches beginner english, was telling me how tired she feels after speaking english, so I must be exhausted. How true.

Today has likewise been good. Portugese has gone well hoje (I hope you all are actually picking up the little Portuguesese I put on here...I'll need someone to talk with when I get home). We went to A Praza a Republica, this huge market in the center of Belem, very very cool. I drank some cool random Amazonian fruit juice and saw a bunch of cool shirts and little knick-knacks to buy in the future. Saw a bunch of people doing capeoera and that look paid-egua. Overall the market had a real cool vibe, another place to go back to a lot. Got back to the apartment and had lunch, carne e feijoes e arroz e frango. Beans, rice, beef, and chicken, but not in that order. But very delicious. Also tried some of Lea's suco de cacao. Yes, from cacao beans, like chocolate. Although it tasted nothing like chocolate, it was the bomb-diggaty. Also had a fun time (no seriously I did) explaining how I purify the water with the chemical stuff in my room. They seemed interested, and it made me feel a little more competent with my Portuguese skillz.

As a side note, I finally found a youtube video of Bard's acapella group singing Africa by Toto. So happy.

Tchau

Welcome to the Jungle?

Food in Brazil is amazing. Maybe in a few months time I will be tired of rice, beans, chicken, beef, FISH, farinha, and all the wonderful fruit. But I doubt it. Even the soft drinks are better: they use actual sugar, no high fructose corn syrup here. Perhaps that’s why I feel a little slimmer…Tonight, before I go back to mangrove forests and fish, Diego, Judah, and I went out to get some food after I returned from the office and got a shower (its common to shower 2-3 times a day here, at least). We went to a small restaurant where Judah and I each got a misto, and Diego wanted me to try a glass of cupuaçu juice. Um misto, apparently, is basically a kabab: beef, chicken, and pork sausage. But amazing. As for the cupuaçu, we don’t have it in the US, at all. It’s one of the many fruits I’m sure I’ll try that we don’t even have words for in English. Pretty cool. If I am correct, I think that cupuaçu is the cashew nut fruit, but I’m not sure. Whatever it is, it grows on you. Bitter, but its good. Afterwards, we went to get sorvete, ice cream. So, I got acai. Of course. It’s so good. Or, as everyone says in Pará, égua!

It’s now been about one full day with my host fam. It was fun talking to everyone today at class about their families and the awkward initial interaction. Everyone agreed though, once we all just got in the car, it seemed really normal. And good. Today I got to experience the 10 minute walk from the apartment building to the SIT office. On the way there we pass by the Bosque (apparently there is a manatee inside), and Léa was telling me that people often go running inside of it, or around it, or the like, so maybe some mornings I will look into that. I need to get a cheap pair of running shoes though. Speaking of shoes…I think my boots are totaled. I never want to wear them again, they still smell. Which brings me back to the mangroves and Orientation.

So. After the perilous drop off exercise we took the vans back out to go to an NGO called Instituto Peabiru; however, they are a little bit more than just an NGO, what is called here in Brasil a OSCIP (btw, Urso, the asthmatic family dog, says hi, super cute). An OSCIP is basically an NGO that has been recognized by the government as a civil society organization, and thus the government supports the NGO with public funds. In this case, Peabiru is mostly funded by BR Petrobras, the Brazilian oil company. Now, that sounds worse than it actually is. The government checks in with Peabiru once in a while to make sure things are going ok, but for the most part leaves them alone. After all, the government is doing it primarily for face value. Nothing looks better nowadays than to be supporting community based environmental movements. Anyway, Peabiru has 5 main programs in Curuca, Pará: environmental education and environmental management certification, tying community needs into the sustainability agenda, what Gustavo called an “ethnographic museum” project (a local history of the mangrove communities), an NGO clinic to help facilitate and guide local organizations, and a biosocial indicator program. The whole thing was pretty amazing. The next day, we got a chance to then go out to the mangrove forests by boat and visit one of the small fishing groups that work on the beach where the Espadarte port will be built.

The boat ride took about an hour and a half, but I really enjoyed it. Took a lot of pictures. However, I did not bring my camera into the magroves, seeing as we were going to be walking in THICK mud and up to our waists (and sometimes shoulders) in mangrove salt water. Not good for camera. My friend’s camera got a little wet, and now isn’t working. Sucks. But being in the mangrove was beautiful We got to learn a little bit about the ecology of this unique ecosystem. The mangrove tree species need to compensate for both the high salt content of the water and the low oxygen level of the soils, and thus is why the roots are the giant umbrella shape over the water that you can see in the picture. The roots not only filter out the salt, but also absorb the oxygen from the air. Although the whole system leads to less biodiversity as a whole, the quality of life for the few species that exist in the mangroves is plentiful. Small crabs and shrimp thrive there, and we saw a few small crabs (2-3 mm) crawling around on people’s shoulders. Likewise, the birds of the region, like flamingoes, develop their reddish tint from the amount of shrimp they eat. They are very red, and I mean crayon box/coloring marker red, so you can see that there’s no lack of shrimp or crab there. After listening to Gustavo and some members of Peabiru talk to us, we started to hike to the beach. Yes, the beach. It, too, was really great. After jumping in the water for a good hour or so, we ate sandwiches and kept walking until we got to the fishing hut.

Here, we listened to this fisherman talk to us about the port, about his life, about how the amount of fish has declines steadily over the 11 years he’s been fishing here, all while we snacked on the fish he cooked for us in the hut he built himself out of mangrove trees. Muito bom. The fish was probably the best fish I’ve ever had. Everyone agreed. Someone even asked him how he cooked it, and of course all he had to do was clean the fish and throw on some lemon and salt over the grill. It was really cool though. We then walked to where the boat picked us up and sailed back to town, where the vans were waiting for us, and we drove back to the sitio. The rest of orientation, although informative, wasn’t all that exciting. I did a lot of soduko, walked along the dirt roads talking with people, played some gin-rummy, and enjoyed my mosquito net.

Now, here I am, in Belém, enjoying the city. Below is a shot from my window view at sunrise. Pretty nice. It’s exciting that classes are starting to pick up this week. Portuguese class is going well, but just chatting with Diego and Judah is much more helpful than any class will be, I think. Especially because they both take English, so they can understand how boring learning verb tenses can be. On Monday, Gustavo, our AD, wants to meet with all of us to just have a quick 20 min chat about our ISP. The ISP, for those who don’t know, is a 28 day research project. We can pick any topic we like, as long as we can somehow tie it into of course the overall theme of Amazonian Resource Management and Human Ecology. Eventually we will all find and select a project advisor who can help to guide us and help us with research methods, and so forth. Although I don’t know where I want to do mine, I know I want to do something linking together ecosystem health and community public health services, and how people join/use social movements, community based development, or appropriate technology means/microfinance to combat the connected degradation of their community’s health and that of their ecosystem. For sure, that means my ISP will somehow involve aquatic ecology and river ecosystem health, perhaps combined with waterborne diseases, or the malnutrition that can come with non-sustainable means of agriculture, or something similar.

I have the weekend off, so I look forward to being able to sleep in a little bit tomorrow. I’m going to try to buy a cheap cell phone at the mall as well, and maybe try and meet up with some friends from SIT whose host families also live nearby and go visit the Bosque Zoo/Botanical Garden. Once we get our emails/internet/cell phones together we can actually all get together and relax, go to clubs, meet up to work on projects, that sort of thing. Today after our last lecture a bunch of us went over to the little bar across the street and were able split a beer or two to unwind a little.

Tchau! Saudades

Finally in the city of Belém, settled in at last. It’s been quite the week, so I suppose I’ll start with what’s most fresh on my mind. Don’t worry, I have pictures too.

First and foremost, my host family is wonderful. Lucky for me, I will be living for the next several weeks in a very nice apartment only a five minute walk from the World Learning Office where I take my classes. Lucky, because mostly everyone else in my group must take the onibus, which actually ends up costing about 1-1.5 reais for a one-way trip. That’s a little under a dollar, but I am sure it adds up. So basically, while some of my friends here will need to take 30 minute bus rides, I will be able to get there easily, no hassle, in no time at all. Best of all, the Office and the apartment I am in are both very close to the Bosque, a large park in the middle of the city. My host brother Diego told me that people go running in it/around it a lot in the mornings, so maybe I can hit that up while everyone else is on the bus. Plus, it only costs 1 real to actually enter the park, so no problem. Back to my family-away-from-home. My host mother’s name is Léa, my one host brother Diego, and my other bro Judah. Léa teaches Spanish at the University, Diego is 23 and is finishing his last year of engineering school at the University as well, and Judah is 13 and in a escola (I’ll apologize in advance for times when I randomly write in Portugese). They’ve all been extremely nice so far, even though I just moved in only a few hours ago. They even liked my homestay gifts so far.

I don’t really know that much Portuguese, but they told me that mine’s actually fairly good, and considering how blunt Brazilians often are, I guess that’s pretty cool. Judah is learning English at school so basically we are both in the same language boat. We had the big dinner/snack thing tonight where we all met our host families, and after awkwardly chatting with mine for 25 minutes or so, we got into the car and drove to the supermercado to get some cereal for breakfast…even though I insisted that they didn’t need to buy me cereal, and that I’d be fine with some of the coffee and bread. Oh well. They showed me around the house, asked some more questions about home and such, I was able to get most of it. Diego and Judah speak some English, but I want to make sure that they kind of force me to speak in Portugese.

Speaking of Portugese, I am in the Intermediate Class, pretty cool, sim? I guess doing some Rosetta Stone over the summer paid off. A good portion of the group is in the same class, and I felt pretty good during our first class a few days ago. # 2 is amanha. I think I have a lot of the basics down. Plus, it’s a beautiful language.

So, I should back up and try to start from the start, although that will probably fail seeing as I am pretty tired, its 11:30 here, and I need to wake up around 7 or so. Getting to Brazil almost a week ago was quite the process, but looking back nothing too exciting. Meeting everyone was kindof fun…kindof. I’m always slightly weird about those awkward first meetings. But I met a lot of cool people. Off the top of my head, and the people I think I bonded with the quickest with, Sarah and Will both go to Brown, Karina goes to Vassar, Nigel goes to Lafayette, Ups goes to Davidson, and Maya goes to Occidental (she is also a CISVer, pretty cool coincidence). Meeting all at the airport was pretty chill, everyone bonds over being tired and awkward together. We got to watch a movie in Portuguese on the plane, fun. Speaking of which, Brazilian planes are so much nicer than the one I had to fly from Philly in. You not only get food on your flight for free, but it was pretty good for airplane food. You also get a hot towel. Nice.

Let’s see. Basically, it has been an intense week. Some very exciting moments, some not so much. The first day getting there at 7 am was a toughie. We had lots of time before our first lectures from Gustavo and the other program staff, so a bunch of us took walks along the roads. Ah, and yes, we were at what is called a sitio, and there isn’t really any English translation. That seems to happen a lot here. It looked kindof like a getaway/farm/I'm not really sure. It was nice, and if my laptop would let my pictures upload right now, I would show you a picture, maybe tomorrow at the office instead. No, now.

So, yes. Orientation. Day one was long, lots of general stuff to cover. Honestly, I'm just going to pan over the whole thing and just do the main cool parts. So, the second day there....Saturday, we had what in every SIT program is called a Drop Off Exercise. Basically, you are given two questions, in this case in Portuguese, and, you guessed it, are dropped off via van in a random place and have 3 hours to obtain the info. In our case, most of us were dropped off along little agricultural villages or fishing villages. I don't know the name of the town I was dropped off in. It was very very small. I had two questions: 1) what sorts of artisan crafts do you make in this village, and what are the most expensive and 2) what is "espardarte"?. So, in my little Portuguese I tried asking people around, and people either told me that there weren't any such shops or lojas in this town, or that the closest one was in the nearby city, Curuca. So, I spend a lot of time walking down highways and talking to people along the way. Needless to say, in 3 hours I did not find any art things. I just drank all my water very quickly. Although I did find out what Espadarte was. I was told by two people that it was a restaurant in Curuca. Ok, great. So, we all reunited from our separate little adventures, and found out that actually, espadarte is the name of a certain fish, an ocean fish that many of the fishermen in such communities catch. It is also the name of a new restaurant/hotel in the city. Also, it is the name of a new port that will be built in Caruca, which will be the largest port in Latin America. Many of the fishermen are upset about its construction because it will threaten their livelihood, bring more people into the region, and their prices for fish will drop, both due to increased fishing/merchant activity, and less fish in general, means less they are able to sell. To get a better perspective on all of this, and not just talk about it, Gustavo had a whole days worth of excursions ahead of us, easily the best part of orientation, involving trudging through the waters of a mangrove forest, talking with a community based ecotourism and environmental education NGO, and listening to a fisherman talk to us on one of the beaches of Caruca about the building of the fort while he cooked us basically the most delicious fish ever. But, that is what I will update this about tomorrow.

Tchau!