Strawberry Fields Forever (Take 1)

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out.
It doesn't matter much to me.

No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low.
That is you can't you know tune in but it's all right.
That is I think it's not too bad.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever.

Always no sometimes think it's me, but you know I know when it's a dream.
I think, er No, I mean, er Yes but it's all wrong.
That is I think I disagree.

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i think or at least feel as if im coming into my own, somewhat. i think im falling for language and attempting to express myself constantly. ive taken a liking to memoirs and memory and recounting memory shaping it through a place.

i think i might ask my professor from my cultural technologies of memory class to do a tutorial in the spring on memoir and anthropology. how cool.

struggling. do you do what a part of you is passionate about but you have little actual experience with, or do you go with that burning in your heart? epidemiology and public health consulting seem wonderful and practical. but so does doing my all to become a writer. then again, one can do both, can't we?

i dont like long books and treatises. i like them pocket sized. whats the point of a book that wont fit in your back pocket? you cant exactly take it around with you if its not. i think books should be about moving and traveling. they should be mobile and portable. i dont like carrying a backpack around the city.

cities cities and cities. read invisible cities by calvino in a day. the metro system was made for book readers. in fact, i read the most when im moving, on the train, on the bus, on the boat. its when i sit in my room that i read the least.

why must i always be going somewhere? its as if im afraid to be still.

working through arjun appadurai's fear of small numbers. hes an anthropologist but one of the few whose writings flow rather easily. and ive liked his other writings. they always make me ponder.

today i picked up copies of orphan pamuk's istanbul: memories and the city and v. s. naipaul's a bend in the river. im reading pamuk's now. its excellent. memories are fascinating things, especially good reflections on them.

its funny how i dont write about my internship at all.

i like it enough, but when it comes down to it, i dont feel like explaining it. im updating fact packs on environmental health hazards & summarizing and synthesizing full cost accounting reports.

gross, those two words sound awful to say out loud.

maybe its just that activism can be a little frustrating? mind games and manipulation. mostly of images. maybe its just me. but why the obsession with children's faces as a tool to get support and donations?

chej is a strong organization. i like the organizing and technical assistance component and am proud to be a part of it. im looking forward to helping write summaries of successful environmental health struggles around the country for the "action line" component of our publication, everyone's backyard. but im not huge on most of the nation-wide campaigns we run. BE SAFE, the campaign for precautionary and prevention action around things like hazardous waste and improper use of toxins before they are released to the public (what i am doing the full cost accounting for) is useful and important, i think. but the green schools and pvc campaign i just can't really get into. i know its important, toxic shower curtains and children's toys and baby bottles and all. its just not my thing really. really.

im hoping that eventually i get to go to one or two or more of these conferences that stephen, my boss, goes to. thats what id really like to do. see how you explain the science and technical stuff and use it to organize public opinion. maybe soon. either way this will be a good experience. every day is at least somewhat different.

ive been thinking about the watson. im making a list of professors at bard to email this weekend. about their area of specialty. any good resources. potential contacts.

right now im thinking...

production:
colombia
indonesia
ethiopia/angola

consumption:
turkey
greece/italy
morocco/portugal

ive love to spend a year traveling by sea, train. playing checkers and chess. smoking hookah and talking politics & philosophy. working in fields of coffee beans. fair trade. local culture. feeling the breeze. moving.

all those things i never shut up about.

im in a good mood. you'd think a weekend with nothing to do or nobody to see might be dull. but its nice in its own way.

speaking off, im off for more coffee and reading. im wearing my jean shorts right now. love it.